Breaking and Entering

RJ ran up the final steps to the ancient tomb of King Hapanut.  He rummaged through his bag for the tool he needed and finally produced a hammer, with which he broke the seal on the door.  One final push and he was inside at last.

The sights there astounded him.  It was more than he had ever dared to imagine.  Piles of gold coins and riches were stacked against each wall.  There were treasure chests overflowing with jewels and pearls that twinkled in the light of his torch.  "I have hit the mother load!" he exclaimed.

He walked over to a treasure chest and began rummaging through it.  At that moment, he heard a strange creaking noise behind him.  He turned, illuminating the far corner of the room with his torch.  Nothing was there.  He decided it must have been his imagination.

The sound came again.  RJ turned once more, but this time, he saw its source.  A door had opened in one of the walls.  He was surprised.  Had it been open when he arrived?  Should he look inside?  It wasn't long before curiosity got the best of him.

He poked his head inside and saw nothing, so he stepped in completely.  As soon as he had reached the middle of the room, he heard the door slam behind him.  He whirled around.

The last thing he saw was an ancient rotted face, grinning horribly at him in the torch light.

The Hit Man

Albert Finnigan stood in the alleyway.  He looked this way and that, but so far, there had been no signs of life.  "Damn dirty bum," he said to himself.  "This asshole ain't never gonna show."  He adjusted his fedora and turned to walk out of the alleyway when he suddenly came face to face with a man dressed all in black.

"Albert Finnigan?" the man addressed him.

"Yeah?" Albert said, trying to hide the fact that the man's sudden appearance had shaken him.  "What's it to you?"

"I'm glad I could catch you," he said.  "I'm sorry I'm late."

"So you're the guy who wants to make a deal?" Albert asked.

"Yes," said the man in black with a strange smile.  "I need you to get rid of someone for me.  If you can do it, the reward will be beyond your wildest dreams."

"I can do it, alright," said Albert.  "All I need to know is who it is and where I can find them."

The man continued to smile as he produced a picture.  "You'll find her in the suburbs.  Her address is on the back of the photograph."

"Another wife case," said Albert upon hearing that his target was female.  "Shouldn't be too hard."  He took the picture and turned it over.  The face shocked him.  It was that of a little girl.  "Hey," he said, what's the big idea?"

When Albert looked up, he found that the eyes that stared back were glowing red.  "Do it, Albert," said the man in a much deeper voice than before.  "Do it so that I may have your soul.  I promise, you will be richly paid."

Lesson Learned

Mr. Kurtz was the sexiest professor I had ever had.  I had never liked math before, but when I walked into his geometry class, I sat up and took notice.  He must have seen the way I kept looking at him.  One day, he stopped in the middle of the lesson.  "Brody," he said, "eyes on the board, please."  He touched the blackboard with the tip of his point.  I had been watching his other pointer which was beautifully visible in those khaki pants.

It wasn't long before I decided I had to make my move.  "Mr. Kurtz," I said to him as I was leaving the classroom.  "Could I come by this afternoon for some... extra help."  I winked, hoping to give him a clear idea of exactly what I meant.

He looked at me with his shining blue eyes and smiled.  "Of course.  I'm always eager to help a student."

At last, the end of the day rolled around.  I could hardly contain my excitement---and by that I mean that I had to keep my bag held squarely in front of my crotch.  I walked into Mr. Kurtz's office.  The sight that awaited me was a complete surprise.

Mr. Kurtz sat on his desk.  He wore nothing but a tiny pair of red bikini briefs.  "I've been waiting for you, Brody," he said.  "Let me... teach you a few things."

I grinned widely and locked the door behind me.

Hitting the Books

Ripley sat at the dusty old table, pouring through the ancient book before him  This is amazing, he thought.  So many spells, so little time.  He tried very hard not to get distracted by the veritable candy shop of magic that lay at his finger tips.  He needed one particular spell and he needed it fast.

"Come on!" he demanded aloud.  "Where is it?"

Suddenly, a strong gust of wind blew him backward.  Another came in from the side and flipped several pages of the book before subsiding.  Ripley crept nearer to the book once again and there, on the open page, was exactly the spell he was looking for.

"Ask and ye shall receive!" he said with elation.

The next day, he strolled into science class late.  "You're later than usual Mr. Peterson," barked his teacher, Mrs. Rheinfeldt.  Ripley said nothing but strolled confidently to his seat.  Mrs. Rheinfeldt sighed.  "Right, out your homework everyone.  We're going to see which of you followed directions and which of you messed up as badly as Mr. Peterson here undoubtedly did."

"Oh, I think you'll be surprised to know that I did my homework, Mrs. Rheinfeldt," he said with a smile.

The teacher blinked.  "You?  You did your homework?"

"Oh, yes," said Ripley.  "It just wasn't the homework you assigned."  With that, he stood, waved his hands and recited a strange series of foreign words.

Moments later, the halls were filled with relieved students, released early from class.  A little green frog hopped eagerly after them.

Star Struck

"Can you describe the fellow you're looking for, doll face?" asked Detective Martin Sangler, pulling his pen and pad out of his trench coat.

Marion Rhodes, starlet of the silver screen, leaned seductively against her red sports car.  With two fingers, she lowered her cigarette from her lips.  "I don't need to describe him," she said.  "If you want to find the man I'm looking for, all you need to do is look in a mirror."

Martin looked her straight in the eye and slowly lowered his pen and pad.  "You mean to tell me that you called me out here in the middle of the night to this deserted crossroads just 'cause you need a date?"

"Not a date," said Marion.  She sauntered toward him.  "Just a good screw."  She threw her arms around him and kissed him hard.

Martin pulled away, startled.  "But you're Marion Rhodes.  You're the hottest thing in Hollywood.  You could have any man you want."

"I know," she said.  "And I want you."

"But why?" the detective asked.  "Aren't you supposed to be dating some worthless hunky actor whose career will be over in two weeks?"

"That's not important," she assured him.  "I have an irresistible fetish for men of the law."

The detective couldn't deny that she made him hot under the collar.  Moments later, they were in the car.  Its axles squeaked as it rocked back and forth with the force of an earthquake.

The next morning, Martin's partner commented on his unusually pleasant mood.  "Let's just say," Martin said in reply, "that I went stargazing last night."

The Prophecy

Norris wandered through the forest, touching the mighty fir trees gently as he went.  This was the place he had been told to find.  If only he knew why.  He tried to figure out his purpose for coming here as he continued to move through the dense woods.

A spirit had visited him in his dreams, taking the form of a white lady who sparkled like moonlight.  She had appeared to him in this very forest and, without a single word, communicated to Norris that this forest was where he should be.  It was through intuition and instinct alone that he had finally come to be standing in this place.

"Norris," said a voice from behind him.

He turned swiftly.  There stood the White Lady, glimmering even more beautifully in person.  "I'm pleased that you have come, Norris," she said.  "You are one step closer to fulfilling your destiny.  Now, I have something for you."

She stepped aside to reveal a beautiful dark-skinned maiden, kneeling on the ground as if in deep reverence of the wood around her.  The White Woman spoke.  "Take this woman.  Her name is Nakoma.  She is of the Faery race, and she must become your wife."

The dark woman rose and walked slowly, but surely toward Norris.

The White Woman continued.  "With you, you must bring Faery children into this world to help steer us back to the Right Path."

It was as the White Woman said.  Norris and Nakoma were married.  Their first child was born on December 21, 2012, and with that child came the dawning of the bright new era in which we now live.

Speeding

The engines revved and with a wave of the flag, the racers were off.  Toby sped ahead, leaving Chico in the dust.  He kept going until his opponent had faded into the distance behind him.  He was confident that he would win the race.

Minutes passed.  Toby expected to see Chico appear behind him, but he was nowhere in sight.  This gave Toby an eerie feeling he couldn't explain.  Was Chico trying to lose?  Had something happened?

His wondering was put to an end when a figure jumped into the middle of the road.  Toby stopped short.  Shaking, he looked up to see Chico standing before him, or at least someone wearing a driving suit that looked like Chico's.  The figure stood stalk still, staring him down from behind the dark visor of the racing helmet.  Then, slowly, it lifted the helmet off its head to reveal a flaming skull.

Toby screamed.  All he could think to do was drive, and he did, ramming straight into the figure.  He kept going, looking in his rearview mirror for any sign that the thing was following him.  To his shock, he saw nothing, not even a body on the ground.  He was so busy focusing on his rearview mirror that he didn't even notice the tree right in front of him.

The next morning, the headlines ran the tragic news.  "Two Racers Killed in Separate Accidents."